Thursday, July 31, 2008

Wet Your Whistle

As my mom watches my two little cousins during the week, they have gotten into the routine of following me down the hallway to my room when I get home from work. (The lil fella is 3 years old and the lil lady is 18 months.) Apparently it's a real treat to them. I never knew my room was so cool until they came along!

Anywho, the other day found both of them plopped up on my bed and all three of us were chillin underneath the fan when I decided to pull out something special from my "fun" drawer. A whistle. I wanted to see if they'd improved somewhat on their whistle blowing since the last time I'd pulled it out. (Or.............I just wanted a good laugh!) So I let the little lady take a turn but didn't see much of a change in her technique, she was still as funny as ever. As I handed the whistle to the lil fella, I sat back and waited to see what he would do. Once he started blowing it, he couldn't stop! He blew-blew-blew and all you heard was that shrill sound of the little ball whirring around in the whistle, until---SPLAT! His spit came flying out of that whistle at 50mph and landed all across my cheek! That was unexpected. As I wiped the "wet stuff" off of my face I quickly retrieved the whistle before he caught his third wind.

Talk about wettin' your whistle. Despite the gross wet stuff that came flying out at super sonic speeds, it was funn-nay!

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Call Me Popeye

I took the day off last Friday and decided to work in the garden that morning. I was loosening up the dirt in some of the flower beds and realized my fingers weren't going to cut it. I went for the Big Boy. It's like a double-headed tool with a 3-spike claw on one side and a wedge type thing on the other. So there I was, crouching down beside the rose bushes, tearing it up like nobody's business. I had to dodge the occasional dirt clump that came whizzing past my head and squint my eyes to deter the dirt from getting in. After reaching the desired depth, much to my satisfaction, I took a break from "the claw". As soon as I stopped the motion of swinging the tool I felt a tingle in my right forearm. Odd. It felt rather strange and it quickly drew my attention. I glanced over at my arm and noticed that not only was it red, it was extremely tight and all the muscles felt hard as a rock. If my muscles could talk, they would've been screaming out in pain. I almost started to panic thinking I'd been stung by a bee, but I realized it was my own doing that brought on the tingly pain. Oh how the muscles hurt! It felt like my bulging muscles were so taut in my arm that they were going to rip the skin open. (Perhaps I exaggerate, but that's how it felt. Just painting a picture.) There I stood in the middle of the garden with a contorted look on my face and squinted eyes, quickly trying to rub the flaming pain away in my limb, all the while trying to remain calm and relaxed. Did I mistakenly have spinach for breakfast?! That's probably as close as I'll ever get to resembling Popeye.

Maybe that was a sign that those muscles have been dormant for too long.

ABBA Gold

Last night my mom and I both needed to get out of the house for a few so I talked her into joining me on a joyride.............to the gas station. We turned on the AC, put in my ABBA CD, and cranked it loud.

Just us girls,
Just our music,
And the freedom to sing as loud as we wanted.

It was just what we needed!

(You can call me the Dancing Queen.)

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

New Look

I was working on 6 inches of filing this morning when my sister walked out of her office and stopped by my desk. She tilted her head, kind of gave me a curious look and then said, "Did you do your hair this morning?"

WHAT?! Is it that bad? Hahahahaha! I had to ration my hair cream usage today so it's a lighter curly look---but come on, hahahaha! Her comment had both of us in stiches of laughter as she tried to explain herself. I love my sister!

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Beep

Oh dear, the UPS man filling in for our normal driver just came into the lobby to deliver a package. As he handed over his little electronic pad for me to sign, I pulled the pen off the Velcro patch and after completing my signature I let out a little "beep" type noise. WHAT WAS THAT?! Now I do sound effects?! Mr. UPS was busy jiggling his belt around so I'm hoping he didn't hear my "beep" that I accidentally said out loud. I can't believe I did that!

I blame the "beep" sound on the fact that I was playing "store" last night with a little girl I was watching. I'd make a beep noise for each item I scanned and she'd bag them. Perhaps I'm still on store mode...................or I'm just goofy like that.

What's next?!

Monday, July 21, 2008

Poster Board

I was walking through a bookstore this weekend and as I was browsing some books on a lower shelf (on the main runway through the store) I noticed something out of the corner of my eye. It appeared to be a pair of pointed shoes followed by some skinny ankles, and mind you it was in my peripheral vision, but from what I saw I thought it was one of those life-size human poster boards, like a pop-up. So as curiosity tugged at me, I began to raise my eyes from ground level, wondering which author was being promoted by a life-size cut out.

As I stole a glance in that direction it did NOT take me long to realize that it was no poster board cut out---indeed, it was a real person! She was very thin and had a good six inches on me, but it was like she was glued to the spot. Apparently she had been watching ME, because as I stood we made eye contact and I won't lie, it startled me! I think my mouth dropped open and a little "oh" escaped my lips. Here I was expecting to see a lifeless poster board, and in fact it was a real person just standing there. Talk about awkward. Even though it all happened within a matter of seconds, it seemed like she stared at me for an eternity.

I quickly and casually glanced away, deciding it was time to move on to a new section of books.

Friday, July 18, 2008

Fresh From the Oven

Here in Arizona, you don't need an oven to warm something up.......your car will do just fine.

I bought some chewy Chips Ahoy cookies on my lunch break today and accidentally left them in the car. They've been warming themselves up ALL afternoon under the HOT Arizona sun. I just went out to put some boxes in the trunk and when I realized I'd left my cookies in the trunk, I began to dread what the cookies were now going to look like. A melted mess, I was sure.

Well, despite the fact that the damage has already been done, I decided to bring them into the building with me and placed them on the corner of my desk. Figured I could at least attempt to get them back to room temperature. Temptation got the best of me though, as my taste buds suddenly began craving a morsel of cookie, and I indulged myself. I carefully opened the package, afraid at what I might see, but much to my astonishment the cookies were all in tact. I pulled out a cookie and took a little bite, and I tell you---it was like eating cookies straight out of the oven. Oh so soft and oh so warm! I decided to share the wealth with my sister and rushed into her office with the package of cookies. It was actually pretty delicious and as I went in for a second cookie I thought to myself that they weren't so bad. Then I noticed all the chocolate dots left behind on my fingers from the melted chips.................but who cares when you have something that tastes that good!

I've got my own easy bake oven sitting out front in the parking lot. How lucky am I?!

Black Blower vs. Black Beauty

My sister was having a little car trouble earlier this week so she brought it over to our house so our dad could take a look at it. What are dads for, right?! After popping the hood, he decided that it would be easier to pull out his blower and clean off her engine that way rather than wipe the dust away. My sister and I just looked at each other and laughed at the fact that he REALLY was serious, hahaha. As I needed to take care of something in the house, I left them to it.

When I came back outside, Dad had his head under the hood and Mom and my sister were standing in the grass with Bella sitting nearby. As I stepped off the walkway and into the yard my eyes were immediately drawn to Bella. I noticed she seemed very tense and nervous for some reason and had her BIG eyes on. Bella did not seem like her usual carefree self and I glanced over to where the ladies were standing and they were grinning from ear to ear. I looked back to Bella as I walked closer and noticed that her leash had been attached to the blower. (Gee, I wonder who did that?!) For those of you who don't know Bella, she is not very fond of yard equipment. My sister is supposedly trying to work on that, wink-wink.

Anywho, as I continued getting closer to her, my dad took off for the garage and Bella took that opportunity to BOLT and follow after him. All she wanted to do was put more distance between herself and that black blower, but quite the opposite happened. As she took off running, that blower was not far behind her, nipping at her heels! She was in a frenzy to shake that thing loose and it went sailing across the yard after her. Never have I seen a blower move that fast! We ladies were laughing at the scene before us and Dad had no clue. He finally turned around to see what we were laughing at and took notice of poor Bella nervously twittering around behind him. He unhooked her from her torment and freed the poor black beauty. (I'm referring to Bella, not my dad's tools.)

A Prayer to Remember

As is customary in our house, we sit down together for dinner as a family and one of us will offer up a prayer over the meal. Earlier this week my dad asked my younger brother to pray over the meal, and it seemed like no biggee. Well, as we were holding hands around the table my brother began to say grace. He started out just fine, but after a few lines into his prayer, there was a silent pause. It was as though his brain had completely shut down and he was at a loss for words. Stage fright, brother dear?! I felt like whispering to him, "Say amen........." There was a smile tugging at the corner of my mouth and I had to bite back my laughter. The next thing I know, he pops back in after a few seconds of silence and says, "And thank you for giving us another day........(pause-pause-pause).....Amen." That's a new one, hahaha! Even as he said it, I could tell he wanted to laugh at his choice of words. There was nothing wrong with the word choice, but the pausing sure made us want to giggle.

Immediately after finishing his prayer, I caught his eye and we both began to snicker. I repeated back to him his "touching prayer" in a voice that I knew would make him laugh.

Yes, dear Lord, THANK YOU for giving us........another day, wink-wink.

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Toilet in Distress

As I walked into the restroom earlier today, I KNOW a look of alarm passed over my features at the disturbing noises I was hearing. It sounded as though someone was having a rough go of it and I was caught in an awkward pause for a second or two while trying to figure out if I should come back later. Well, I decided to stay and proceed with caution. As I came around the wall I noticed that both the stall doors were open. Those noises were NOT human, thank goodness. I carefully eased the door open to the stall that was making such horrendous noises, afraid at what I might find. As I peered over the rim of the toilet bowl, I'm sure my eyes were round as I looked on in confusion. The toilet sounded as though it was still running, but what really shocked me were the bubbles that continued racing through the pipes and being released into the bowl. The toilet sounded like it was gurgling, moaning, and choking to death on water, all at the same time. All I could think of was what exactly was causing those bubbles. Mice in the toilet? A snake in the pipe? (Truly, it's happened before.)

I eased over to the next stall and just wanted to make it out of there before the toilet next door blew up. Chaaaaa! However, my curiosity got the best of me and after washing up I went in to see the toilet in distress one more time. Even after checking out the water box on the toilet, I was still perplexed. So, as I ascertained the situation, I decided to get a second opinion. I grabbed my sister from her office so she could come check it out. As we were both standing there staring at the bubbling toilet, she walks over to the drooping toilet handle and lifts it up. Within seconds the death gurgling ceased and the bubbles were no more.

Why didn't I see that?! Just fabulous.

Monday, July 7, 2008

Mind Your Words

Here's a first:

The other night us girls (Mom, my sister and I) were standing around when Grandpa asked, "Hey, you want to play Bimbo tonight?"

What?! Did he just say that? I think you could have heard a pin drop in the silence that filled the room. However, it didn't last long. It may have taken us a second or two to recover from the shock, but when we did, you better believe we all had something to say amidst all the laughter. Dad said something along the lines of, "Hey, that's my wife you're talking to." I piped in with a, "We're not like that Grandpa, we don't play Bimbo. Now Skip-BO, that's another story." Wish you could have been a fly on the wall when all of that went down. Talk about funn-nay. We eventually made it into the kitchen where we played a few games of Skip-BO, but I felt like asking.......

Is there something you're not telling us Grandpa..........?

Sunday, July 6, 2008

Pyrotechnic Phobia

Everybody who was anybody in Crescent City was out to prove to their neighbors on July 4th that they had the best ground firework show.

That night found us downtown at the city park to watch the city's firework show. My family and I had found a nice spot and situated ourselves on some blankets. We were making our own fun and sharing in the laughs while we patiently waited for the show to begin. I should clarify that we were waiting for the "real" show to begin because the next thing I know, some fruit loop nearby had the bright idea to start his own ground firework show.......a mere 12 feet away, if that. As I was sitting the closest to the his "little display of fire" I started to get a little nervous, as he did NOT seem like a professional. Not to mention the fact that my hair is HIGHLY FLAMMABLE! One little spark and POOF---my tumbleweed will be up in smoke. (Ever since I was little, I've been afraid of flames, but for good reason, hahaha.)

So, as I'm nervously sitting there watching the sparks fly about 3 feet into the air over my shoulder, I'm waiting in anticipation for the flames to come shooting out of that thing, as they typically do. The next thing I know, his firework falls over and it was now pointed in OUR DIRECTION! I'm surprised I didn't get whiplash from how fast I turned my head when I saw those sparks coming our way. We were all laughing at the choppy fashion of my head-bobbing and what could have been, but I tell you, there was no mistaking the fear in my eyes.

I continued glancing over my shoulder, just to keep an eye on that pyromaniacs attempt at being firework savvy. He lit off a few more in close proximity to us but I think he bought a bunch of duds as the flames and sparks did not go very high.

A blessing in disguise.

Saturday, July 5, 2008

At A Loss

Watching TV with my grandpa is interesting to say the least. He is notorious for watching TV on mute and on the off chance he actually IS watching a show, he will immediately hit the MUTE button when the commercials begin to play. I can understand turning the volume down, but going completely mute......?

A few times this week he has been a little slow on the draw, and just when I start to get caught up in some clever little commercial that all too familiar red letter word "MUTE" pops up on the screen, and all the excitement is drained away. You let out a sigh in the hopes that maybe next time you'll get to catch the ending to the commercial you missed.

So as he continues in his habit of muting commercials, we who are watching the program as well are left to our own devices of entertainment. Its like your eyes don't know where to look. Watching a silent TV is not so fun, and I find that my eyes begin to roam aimlessly around the room while we wait in anticipation for our show to resume. At one point he got so busy complaining about the commercials that he forgot to take the MUTE off when the show came back on, which we kindly pointed out.

I think Grandpa is about to have a "mute"iny on his hands...........hahaha!

Thursday, July 3, 2008

Along Came A Spider

Side note: I fear I've become a little jumpy up here at my grandparents house as I continue to have unwanted run-ins with spiders, bugs, and critters.

The other day I decided to take a stroll in my grandma's garden. The sun was shining, the birds were chirping, and there was a cool coastal breeze blowing through the trees. As I was walking along the path, I found myself looking at the ground more than the flowers around me. I seemed to be more concerned about movement in the grass, and was looking out for spiders, snakes, and unwanted critters. Because of that fact, I didn't even have a chance to dodge what lay ahead of me. One second I was looking at the grass, and the next second I had spider webs all over my head. As I was so occupied watching where my feet were going, I failed to see the spider web that was strung across the path between two trees. I actually heard the web ripping as it snagged on the top of my head. I let out some kind of yelp and immediately began flailing my arms to snatch the cobwebs from my head. After a few seconds of that dance routine I hung my head down to see if any hitchhikers were dangling from my hair. I found none.

I tell you, when I walked into that web, it was as though my head bent backwards as though I was practicing with a limbo bar. If only you could've seen it.

Wednesday, July 2, 2008

Mullet Man

Yesterday found me rummaging around the kitchen, slowly getting ready to prepare dinner. I was kneeling on the floor digging through a cupboard, when from behind me I feel a light brush on the back of my head, and then another. I quickly turned around and found my dad standing there with a dopey smile pasted on his face and his "horse brush" in hand, as I like to call it. (It's a piece of wood with black bristles.) By the look on his face I knew he was up to no good. I scrunched up my face and asked him WHAT he was doing. He then told me all innocent like that he "just wanted to brush my hair." Mmm-hmm, not buying it. Number One-you do NOT brush my curly hair in the middle of the day, and Number Two-you do NOT use the horse brush on it as it will leave it as an unruly, frizzy mess. You don't mess with curly hair. He knows I don't like his brush and I think that was his motivation right there. As he came in for another stroke of the head, I ducked out of the way and flung my arm his way. (Unfortunately, this type of childish behavior between my dad and I is not so uncommon. We constantly tease and dish out the orneriness to one another.)

So as we're both grinning like fools, trying to guess the others next move, he pastes on a serious face and says, "Just let me brush the back of your head, it'll be all nice and straight. I'll give you a mullet so you're boyfriend will recognize you." Pahhhhh! In my shock of what he'd just said, all I could throw out at him was a "what did you just say?!" We might be visiting a smaller town, with a few rednecks running around, but I definitely have NO connections here.

I then kicked him out of my kitchen.

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

T-R-U-S-T-M-E

Mom and I sat down in the kitchen last night to play a game of Skip-Bo with my grandpa. First, let me just say that Grandpa is one you have to watch like a hawk as he will pick up more cards than he needs, forget to discard, or try and pull a fast one on occasion. So there we were enjoying our game, with me dishing out a bowl of orneriness to my grandpa and mom laughing at my antics. (It's good for his spirit, wink-wink.)

Throughout the entire game I'd casually been keeping tabs on his cards, making sure he had the right amount in his hands at all times and so on. In my defense, I'd just like to say that you couldn't help but take notice of the cards in his hand with the way he held them way out there. At one point in the game we came to a standstill as we were in desperate need of a particular number. As it was Grandpa's turn to play, he immediately went to discard after picking up his needed cards, much to my mom's astonishment. Mom seemed to be in disbelief that he didn't have anything to play, even AFTER she questioned him twice. By then I felt it was time to step in. I looked at her across the table and spelled out T-R-U-S-T-M-E. (Like I said, you couldn't help but see the ol' guys cards.) Mom caught on real fast with a quick smile and after a few seconds went by, Grandpa slowly turned his head towards me and couldn't hide his smile while he nonchalantly drew his cards closer to his chest. Oh---I couldn't help but laugh at that!

Despite the fact that his memory ain't quite what it used to be, his strength is waning, and his hearing is going---the ol' guy can still SPELL! Pahhhh!